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What are your best blonde jokes?
Blonde jokes are my favorite, please give me some more!

I'll pick for the best answer the one that made me laugh the hardest!

Thanks!
Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the ladies room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one wish is granted. However, if one tells a lie then with a “POOF” you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.
So, a redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world."
“POOF” The mirror swallows her.
Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive."
“POOF” The mirror swallows her.
Then an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think. . . ."
“POOF”
Give me your best blonde jokes?
I am blonde and I still love them, but I think I've heard them all. So tell me your best blonde joke and if I haven't heard it before and think it's funny, I'll pick you for 10 points.
1) Blonde goes in to a shop and says to the man behind the counter excuse me sir how much is that tv in the window man behind the counter replies sorry we dont serve blondes. furious she goes home and dyes her hair brown she comes back the next day and says to the man behind the counter excuse me how much is that tv in the window the man replies sorry we dont serve blondes by this time she is fuming she goes home and dyes her hair black and comes back the next day and there is a different man behind the counter she says to him excuse me how much is that tv in the corner he replies sorry we dont serve blondes she says to him how do you know im blonde ? he says its not a tv its a microvave


2) Blonde girl and her blonde boy friend are on a walk one day. they come to a bridge and the blonde boy says 'wait a minute i will walk across first becasuse it doesnt look safe' 'so me being the man i will go across first just incase' he goes across and the bridge colapses the blonde girl says 'damn how am i going to get across?' the boy replies 'wait until night time and i will shine my torch across and you walk on the light across to me'. she says 'no because i will get half way and you will turn it of



3) Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida. As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying “Disney World Left!” After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said “Oh well!” and started driving back home. ...



4) A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she begins screaming, “I won a motor home! I won a motor home!”

The waitress runs over and argues, “That’s impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stereo system!”

The blonde replies, “No. I won a motor home!”

By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too argues, “You couldn’t possibly have won a motor home because we didn’t have that as one of our prizes.”

Again the blonde says, “There is no mistake! I won a motor home!”

The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, “WIN A BAGEL.”



5) A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, “go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them.”

A red head said, “O.K., what’s the capital of Wyoming?” The blonde replied, “Oh, that’s easy, ‘W’.”



6) One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she crashed into a truck.

The truck driver made her pull over into a car park and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tyres.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windscreen.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!”




the following are is not a joke but a picture click the link to see
how does a blonde print a word document ..... click to find out

www.rogerswebsite.com/Humour/38%2…
What are some of the best blonde jokes you have heard?
p.s. i am not trying to offend any blondes out there. some of my best friends are blonde and i actually get alot of blonde jokes from one of them. this is just for fun :)
One winter morning at breakfast a husband and his blonde wife was listening to the radio. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplough can get through." The wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow today, you will need to move your car to the odd-numbered side of the street so the snowplough can get through." So the wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 12-14 inches of snow today and you must park..." Then the power went off! The wife was very upset. With a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street am I supposed to park on?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, her husband said, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time.
What are the best blonde jokes ever?
I am trying to beat my friend in the most blonde jokes learned over night will you help me! Give me your funniest to win the best and 10 points you have to make me ROTFLOL and that is not easy!
There are 3 blondes taking a hike, when they come across a set of tracks. The 1st blonde say's "I believe those are moose tracks!" The second blonde say's "No you idiot those are rabbit tracks!" The 3rd blonde say's "Okay no, those are clearly bird tracks!" While the blondes are fighting over which animal the tracks are from, a big train comes and hits them.


Lol hopefully It helps you win;)
Best Blonde jokes...Best one gets 10 points!!?
i'm bored at work and need a laugh... what are the best blonde jokes you've heard....
A mother with brown hair entered her daughter's room and she saw a condom and said: i didnt know my daughter lost her virginity
A mother with black hair entered her daughter's room and she saw a condom and said: i didnt know my daughter was having sex
A mother with blonde hair entered her daughter's room and she saw a condom and said: i didnt know my daughter has a penis
Tell me your best blonde jokes?
i luuv blonde jokez so could u guyz tell me your best blonde joke? that wouldd be awesome thanks! XD
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.




A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"





A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."






A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."
What your best blonde joke you have heard?
Plz give us a giggle and tell me some of the best blonde jokes you have heard in your life time...

thanks x
a blonde cant figure out a jigsaw so she calls her boyfriend and he asks her what does the cover look like and she says a rooster. the boyfriend comes over and he looks at the cover and says ok lets have a cup of tea and put the cornflakes back in the box
Best blonde jokes?
Tell me your best blonde joke, heres mine

Q:Why'd the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?
A:Becouse the beer was on the house
lol

blonde version of who wants to be a millionaire:
fastest finger question: put these Rocky movies in order starting with the earliest.....Rocky 1,Rocky 2,Rocky 3,Rocky 4





These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home.



They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre. They went to see "Closed For The Winter".

why cant blondes make kool-aid
they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet




Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths."
Blond: Yeth. And I'm not even thickteen yet


how did the blonde get square boobs
she forgot to take the kleenix out of the box



this blonde ladys friend was somewhat injured and needed to go to the hospital for medical attention.So she eventually got her to the emrgency.So the nurse at the er asked her why didnt she just cal "911"? The blonde lady said"well i couldnt find the "11" button."



two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train.
Best dumb blonde jokes...?
if you have any other kind of jokes you can put it on but i like blonde jokes best!
there was a blonde who went to get her hair cut and she was listening to something and she had on earphones..so when she went to get her hair cut she told the barbor to watch out for her ear phones and not to cut them of knock them out of her ears....so he accedentally knocked them out and she dropped dead.......the barbor wanted to know what was so important for her to just drop dead like that..so he picked up an ear phone and listened....and he herd.........................''breath in, breath out''

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